time is escaping us!

Hayden and i have been taking lots of walks, at least 3 a day. Our neighbors are really sweet and always stop us to say hello. We live in an amazing neighborhood. I'm grateful. i bought a peg perego stroller the other day but i prefer wearing him in the sling and have yet to use the stroller.

I haven't been away from hayden for more than a half hour since he's been born. Will is gone kind of a lot. Hayden will be four weeks old tomorrow.
seriously, where does the time go?
He's developing more of a personality as the days pass. every single thing he does blows my mind.
He's starting to lift his head up on his own and is being more vocal than last week...not just with the crying when he needs something but just 'talking' in general. He has also been awake more lately which makes mama happy.

We are getting better at breastfeeding. I've learned that swaddling him while i'm nursing helps calm him down and he's better focused...otherwise his hands get in the way which interferes with him finding the nipple, which leads to him pushing me away and arching his back....and he gets frustrated b/c he can't get to my nipple. I'm still feeding him every 1-2 hours. Having him in the sling allows him to nurse whenever and still have my hands free...though i do enjoy sitting and reading to him too!!!

3 weeks old!

i can't beleive that hayden is 3 weeks old already...
While pregnant, 3 weeks felt like an eternity, but now that he's finally here in my arms, and he's in my arms constantly, time is just flying by...
He has changed so much since the day we brought him home. He's filled out more, he's got a cute double chin and his cheeks are almost chipmunky. I no longer fear that i'm going to break or rip off a limb when I pick him up. He no longer resembles a frog constantly because he straightens his legs out more now and when he's looking at me or an object it actually seems like he can see it instead of the glazed over focus he had in the beginning.
I love that he cluster feeds during the day, and while doing so, i read to him. I was finally able to make it through both "Guess How Much I Love You" and "On the Day you were born" today without crying which i couldn't do before.

I love co-sleeping and I love that he allows me to sleep for 3 or so hours a night before waking up to eat and then eating for a good 45 minutes. I love that he stays awake for another 15-20 minutes to hang out and "talk" to me.....and then allowing me another 3 hours before i get up with him for the rest of the day. I dont mind that i'm constantly changing diapers. It seems as though as soon as i change him, he's dirtying up the next one, but it's good b/c it means he's eating and getting the nutrients he needs.

best of all, he is starting to resemble a little person with an amazing personality, he makes other noises besides crying when hes 'talking' to me and, I know it's still involuntary, but he smiles at me even when he doesn't have gas! He's awake a lot more than he was even a week ago and i really cherish these awake moments that we have together. I love being able to look into his beautiful blue eyes. But i enjoy his asleep time too...b/c i get to watch him sleep...his facial expressions, his snorts. i wonder what he dreams about and if he is enjoying being outside of me, i wonder if he feels as safe out here as he did when he was inside. Part of me is excited to see him changing and growing...i can't wait to see what the future holds for us but part of me is sad because it's happening so fast and I know I'm going to miss this.
he is my little lovey. Referring to myself as 'mama', being HIS mama is the best feeling in the world, yet there are no words to really describe how it feels.

Elated!

Life is incredible.
Motherhood is the best thing that's ever happened to me. it suits me just fine :)

Hayden sleeps a lot right now, which of course is normal. Babies on average sleep 16 hours a day. I love watching him sleep, always curled up on his mama, but i cherish every second he's awake. He's starting to focus and when he looks at me my heart melts. He coos alllll the time and loves his hands. The only times he really cries is during diaper changes and when he's hungry.

We are co-sleeping. Hayden's pediatrician even expressed that close skin to skin contact will not only be beneficial to his growth but for our relationship as well, so we sleep skin to skin[he's on my chest] and i love it. It eases my fears of him not making it through the night too...with us being that close i can hear and feel every breath that he takes and he can feel my breath and hear my heartbeat as well. It reminds him of being in my womb. SAFE!!!!. Hayden allows me about 3 hour intervals of sleep at night which in my opinion is really good!! i feel good...i feel great. I'm bursting with joy and happiness. I'm really blessed. Words seriously cannot describe what i'm feeling right now.

Welcome to the World!!!

Hayden Michael Crowe-McManus was born on July 15th at 6:57am.
He weighed 6 lbs 4oz and is 19.5 inches.
He's beautiful!!!! Words cannot describe it. He's perfect.

We came home Tuesday and things have been challenging, but wonderful. It's nice to be home but it is hard adjusting to not having a nurse by our side with a push of a button. Breastfeeding is difficult but I'm determined to make it work. I'm exhausted but i feel great. I'm elated. Hayden sleeps in my arms during the day and on my chest at night. We tried to put him in the bassinet the first night but I couldn't do it. I needed him close to me.
I'm a mama. Yes, me!!!!! I'm so happy. I can't even describe it. CLOUD NINE. yep, that's where i am.