time is escaping us!

Hayden and i have been taking lots of walks, at least 3 a day. Our neighbors are really sweet and always stop us to say hello. We live in an amazing neighborhood. I'm grateful. i bought a peg perego stroller the other day but i prefer wearing him in the sling and have yet to use the stroller.

I haven't been away from hayden for more than a half hour since he's been born. Will is gone kind of a lot. Hayden will be four weeks old tomorrow.
seriously, where does the time go?
He's developing more of a personality as the days pass. every single thing he does blows my mind.
He's starting to lift his head up on his own and is being more vocal than last week...not just with the crying when he needs something but just 'talking' in general. He has also been awake more lately which makes mama happy.

We are getting better at breastfeeding. I've learned that swaddling him while i'm nursing helps calm him down and he's better focused...otherwise his hands get in the way which interferes with him finding the nipple, which leads to him pushing me away and arching his back....and he gets frustrated b/c he can't get to my nipple. I'm still feeding him every 1-2 hours. Having him in the sling allows him to nurse whenever and still have my hands free...though i do enjoy sitting and reading to him too!!!

3 weeks old!

i can't beleive that hayden is 3 weeks old already...
While pregnant, 3 weeks felt like an eternity, but now that he's finally here in my arms, and he's in my arms constantly, time is just flying by...
He has changed so much since the day we brought him home. He's filled out more, he's got a cute double chin and his cheeks are almost chipmunky. I no longer fear that i'm going to break or rip off a limb when I pick him up. He no longer resembles a frog constantly because he straightens his legs out more now and when he's looking at me or an object it actually seems like he can see it instead of the glazed over focus he had in the beginning.
I love that he cluster feeds during the day, and while doing so, i read to him. I was finally able to make it through both "Guess How Much I Love You" and "On the Day you were born" today without crying which i couldn't do before.

I love co-sleeping and I love that he allows me to sleep for 3 or so hours a night before waking up to eat and then eating for a good 45 minutes. I love that he stays awake for another 15-20 minutes to hang out and "talk" to me.....and then allowing me another 3 hours before i get up with him for the rest of the day. I dont mind that i'm constantly changing diapers. It seems as though as soon as i change him, he's dirtying up the next one, but it's good b/c it means he's eating and getting the nutrients he needs.

best of all, he is starting to resemble a little person with an amazing personality, he makes other noises besides crying when hes 'talking' to me and, I know it's still involuntary, but he smiles at me even when he doesn't have gas! He's awake a lot more than he was even a week ago and i really cherish these awake moments that we have together. I love being able to look into his beautiful blue eyes. But i enjoy his asleep time too...b/c i get to watch him sleep...his facial expressions, his snorts. i wonder what he dreams about and if he is enjoying being outside of me, i wonder if he feels as safe out here as he did when he was inside. Part of me is excited to see him changing and growing...i can't wait to see what the future holds for us but part of me is sad because it's happening so fast and I know I'm going to miss this.
he is my little lovey. Referring to myself as 'mama', being HIS mama is the best feeling in the world, yet there are no words to really describe how it feels.